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A NOTE

JUST CLICK ON THE MONTH IN THE CONTENTS SECTION TO GET THE LIST OF THE POSTS ACCORDING TO THE DATES.. THE TOPMOST POST IN THE OCTOBER 2012 IS THE FIRST CHAPTER TO THE SERIES

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

PARAMETERS 2.i - Mr. LONELY

We were back after the exams and no one really joined back on the official date. Everyone had their own extended choices of holidays. So people came back to hostel at irregular periods of time. Classes had begun atleast the teachers would say so. Priyankar , Pande , Somen , Abhishek were in campus and so was I. After the last Russian Circus incident , I had become a lot more quieter and would converse maximum with Hubba ( Abhishek ). Pinky ( Priyankar ) and Pande were acting normal and so was I. But could not quite talk much with Somen although he was okay with me now. I would talk to all but would think a lot before cracking jokes and would hardly participate directly in pranks. It was not that I tried to show something . It came naturally as I was still guilty inside .. kind of a complex I was suffering from.

I had always suffered from an inferiority complex in my childhood and schooldays. I don't know the reason for that. College life had started differently and I almost forgot my past until that last incident which pushed me into the darkness of silence. Hubba had a similar complex in the beginning days of the college but I cured him as I knew his disease. I knew the man suffering from the same. Hubba was a lot more confident now and one of the prime contender of entertainers and I was moving slowly to the black dark box. I never had a girlfriend as I could hardly talk to girls. I never thought I would have one. I used to think that may be a girl won't even love me after marriage as I was some kind of untouchable or just like the ugly duck who has no right to be loved or even ask for it.

The one who I tried to blame for all that was God and the person whom I punished was myself. I was walking down the lane in our campus which we called"bhalobasar sarani" (the lane of love )... It was a long narrow lane connecting the hostels in our campus which on the two sides had endless amount of couples sharing their precious moments. Many of the batchmates were having girlfriends and I knew they would be there. Although trying to find them at this time would be a bad idea I knew. Even Kalyan Das, the expected topper had one. I just believed I was created by God when he got very much bored and needed a break. On one side were the series of trees and on the other side was a field.  DARK - signifies the romance and the private secret moments you can share only with a special person and it also signifies the lonelyness and the suffering and the cruel truth that you can't share.

I could never tell my first love that I loved her so much although she knew it. I had forgotten that fact or at least tried to for a long time but that day all these were emerging inside my head without my will. Maybe in sorrow the automatic slideshow of the sad folders in your head gets a click on its own.

I came back to my hostel. I saw Pinky , Pande , Hubba and Sanjib( Jetha) in my room. They were doing some kind of an arrangement with newspaper. Pinky was really busy , standing , then sitting and again standing on the bed trying to place the papers in correct position.
Pande shouted , " hey foolish lady , first switch off the fan.. ".

Hubba was also excited , " less oil jettha. I will only participate if its healthy."
Jyatha means father's elder brother. sanjib was called Jyatha by us. He said , " don't you worry ... it will be too good."

Seeing me Pande and Hubba told me excitedly , " hey we have planned a muuri party (puffed rice) . See Pinky with the floating newspaper. How is she gonna hold her husband if she has so much troubles with newspaper ?"

Somen came in with onions and chillies from canteen and looking at me said very naturally , " arrey bolod sala , where have you been man? Hows the arrangement ??"

I smiled from my heart , gave an expression of wow and felt that I really dont need to sit in the bhalobasar sarani. LOVE IS RIGHT HERE.

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